Vain Fantasy

Make the mind be more adhering,
I can't quite make it out.
All is here but sort distorted ,
I can't quite take in.
If I mull over this it will only be worse.
But I can't let it go.
To ruin what is or bring forth a future I know the answer.
What do I want?
Too much to make clear.
If only for a moment.
If I could just see.
Give me a sign.
To break a cliché.
I don't want this.
Heart in head and brain gone dead.
If I could only choose between reality and fantasy.
I'll fight with every fiber of my being.
I don't want this.
I want to continue as I am.
Believe me I want to be free.
I wish truth was ever apparent so that I could sift through the lie and get to what is real.
Nothing is real
This head knows nothing but confusion, abandonment and lies.
I can't break away.
I don't want this.
Oh to be free of this complex.
To destroy,
That's all I do, destroy.
I wish I could change the way it worked.  
To be awake in the midst of dreaming.
Tell me I'm done,
Tell me it was a dream and this too shall pass.
I don't want this.
I don't want this.